


...My Wayward Son

by Beigehere



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester Confesses Feelings for Castiel, Dean Winchester Has Internalized Homophobia, Dean Winchester Says "I Love You", Destiel - Freeform, Fix-It, Fluff, Heaven, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Post-Season/Series 15, carry on, series coda, the scene we were all waiting for, what we deserved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:20:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27667370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beigehere/pseuds/Beigehere
Summary: After Sam comes to heaven, Dean still feels something missing. So he finds Castiel to finally sort out something he couldn't when he was alive.I don't really plan to write more, I just wanted this hanging question to be answered about Dean and Cas. So it's short and sweet, but maybe I'll feel inspired to add on. idk a gay wedding 'in the sky' (or wherever heaven is now-a-days) does sound kinda nice.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	...My Wayward Son

Dean had been driving for what could have been an hour and what could have been a few days. Bobby was right about time working differently here. 

He could feel Sam's presence before he could hear him, and his heart swelled with a contempt sigh, "Hiya, Sammy."

His brother stood behind him with a smile and wrapped his arms around him. It had been so long.

They were like that for a while, looking out over the amber water sotted with red and gold leaves flowing gently under the bridge. 

While their time apart had been much longer for Sam, it seemed like a blink of an eye to him now, with his brother's arm around him and the wind blowing gently against his face.

They drove for a while, and it felt just like all those road trips, day trips, and night trips, and despite having Sam back, there was a tugging in Dean's chest for the company of someone else too.

"So now that Heaven has no borders, does that mean we can make the rounds, see the whole family?"

"That's where we're headed now, our first stop is Mom and Dad's."

Sam grinned, "Mom and Dad's" he echoed, he liked the way that sounded, "And Jack?"

"Still... out there, wherever he is."

"And any chance that Cas is...?"

"I... actually don't know," Dean confessed, "Bobby told me that he helped Jack, uh, remodel, but I don't know where he is exactly..."

"Right."

Talking about Cas made Dean's chest feel so suddenly hollow. Why was that? He's happy, isn't he? Sure, he has his impala, his brother, his family, everyone. Well... everyone but Cas...

John and Mary Winchester were more than happy to see their boys come home. 

Mary was quick to sit them down at the table and bring out the best beers from the fridge, and the conversation was quick to come.

"Say," John said after several hours of joyful catching up, "You boys should go see Cas."

"Cas?" Dean asked suddenly, sitting up in his chair.

"Cas is here?" Sam asked.

"Oh yeah," Mary said, pointing towards the north side of the house, "He's got a place just up that road and on the second left, got a nice view too."

Dean's legs engaged, fully intending on standing when he forced himself back down.

"Dean, if you want to go see him, trust us, we understand," John said.

"We have all the time in the world darling."

Dean stood and looked to his brother.

"Go ahead man, I'll catch up," Sam smiled.

Dean said his farewells and got back in the impala, just north, second on the right.

He slowed to a stop in front of a house. It was situated on a hill, surrounded by trees on all but one side, the side facing a huge glittering lake nestled in the forest. 

Dean stood in front of the door, suddenly unable to move. His head filled with the image of Castiel crying, smiling, being consumed by the empty. He could feel the numb heartbreak as he was cast aside and watched his best friend die all over again.

But now, thanks to Jack... thanks to his son, he was here. Just on the other side of this door.

But what would he say? Not just Cas, but Dean, what would Dean say? Cas had confessed his... love... to Dean, and despite having weeks(+) since then to process it, Dean was still unsure as to what he felt... and what he would allow himself to feel.

And he knocked.

He can just wait and see how he reacts to seeing Castiel and whatever that initial reaction is is what he'll go with.

An infuriatingly indiscernible amount of time passed before the door swung open and Castiel stood before Dean. It was the face that he always saw when he closed his eyes, the trenchcoat that he seemed to have memorized every detail of, the always barely there scruff along his jaw, the crinkle of his blue eyes as he smiled at Dean.

And before a second thought, Dean had thrown his arms around the (former?) angel, a strange sense of relief flooded his body.

"Cas... It's so good to see you again..."

"You too Dean," Castiel said, gesturing for Dean to enter, closing the door behind him.

So much for the 'let's see how it goes' plan. Dean sat here in a sensible and homey living room with Cas across from him, one leg crossed comfortably over the other. He looked so at ease, his posture so relaxed.

His expression was hard for Dean to read, it was happy, excited even, but guarded all the same.

To put it simply Dean felt awkward. What exactly do you say to your best friend who sacrificed himself for you after admitting his love which was his one true moment of happiness?

"It's beautiful," Dean said, glancing around. He didn't need to explain, Cas understood.

"Thank you, it was Jack's idea, I just helped with the detail work."

"And Jack... he's...?"

"Good," Castiel supplied, "Happy, I imagine, to see you here. I guess Sam is here too?"

Dean nodded.

Cas hummed thoughtfully. 

"How was it?" Dean asked eventually, "the... empty?"

"Cold. Dark. Though more like a dreamless sleep if anything. Even when things are quiet, there's still the voice inside your head, your consciousness, inner dialogue. In the empty there wasn't even that, not until Jack of course."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, Dean."

Dean sat up, "No I- what you said Cas... I just want you to know-"

"You don't have to say anything."

Dean looked at him helplessly, and despite being here, in heaven with everyone he'd ever loved, he was still so confused and conflicted.

"But Cas, I do, I do have to say something."

There was something about the way the perfect sunlight came through the window beside him, the way it caught the edge of Castiel's hair, the shadow it cast across his neck, the cut along the folds of his clothes. Like some kind of master work of art.

Dean stood, the action helped him clear his head. He just needed to focus on Cas, to see only him, because that made it better, that made it easier to understand.

"Cas... Castiel. I grew up in the 80's, the world's view on homosexuality was... not great. The perception of masculinity was very straight forward, in more ways than one."

"Dean-" Cas started, he had stood too.

"No I- I need to say this," Dean was certain that if he stopped again he would completely lose his nerve. 

"Cas, after you were gone, after the empty took you, I tried to distract myself, even after we took out Chuck. First, it was hunts, work, then worrying about Sam, worrying about little things and jobs and which alias to use this go round, or which agency to use as cover," Cas smiled gently, Dean shook his head slightly to get back on track. 

"I never, gave myself time to think about you, let alone grieve or process what happened to you, or what happened between us."

"Dean, if need space-"

"No!" Dean said quickly, startling himself even.

"I mean... no, I just, what I guess I'm trying to say is," come on Dean, just rip off the bandaid, "I never let myself feel what I needed to feel, what I wanted to feel..."

"And, what do you feel?" Castiel asked quietly, taking a small step closer to Dean, who had his gaze fixed on the ground.

Taking a deep breath and ripping his eyes up to meet Castiel's, Dean said with more certainty than anything in his entire existence, "I love you too."


End file.
